


Objectively Yours

by DancingLunarWolves



Series: NaZoWriMo 2018 [3]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Taxes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 22:44:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingLunarWolves/pseuds/DancingLunarWolves
Summary: Ah, tax season. The time of year when you can either make it big with a refund, or owe a ton of money. What happens when it's not just money that you owe on falsified those tax documents? One fox will find out the hard way, one bunny will try to fix the mistake, another fox will make matters worse, and another bunny will end up in tears. There are no winners in the tax game, ever.





	Objectively Yours

**Objectively Yours**

**Chapter 1: Paperwork**

* * *

The warm spring winds was always something that Nick found to be soothing. They carried with it the scent of the city that he used to hustle, but now protect along with the prospect of a new, albeit dangerous, way of making a living.

_Worth it_ , he mused from behind his too tented and mostly for show shades as he watched his partner finish writing a ticket to the dismay of the speeding sloth.

Though he was a bit upset from the fact that it was Flash that they were ticketing - he pleaded for them to go easy on him as he probably pressed the gas too hard again - it was all good as nobody was harmed and it'd be something to laugh at later.

"And don't let us catch you going a hundred-thirty down a twenty-five again." the doe adamantly warned, giving the slower mammal a stern wave of her pad and pen through clenched teeth.

As per her partnership with Nick, she found his advice invaluable and, upon taking a moment to think about how a sloth could even attempt to go as fast as Flash did, she reminded herself that bunnies back in her hometown were usually about twice as reckless and followed little to no safety measures when it came to their need for fast-moving death metal.

Especially when inebriated.

She suppressed a shudder from all the times she had heard of a big-rig derby gone wrong. At least one bunny was rumored to have been banished from the burrows for reckless driving.

Flash Slothmore, however, was neither rabbit nor was there any hint of a single drop of alcohol on him. Both good signs and, along with Nick's excuse of "accidentally sloth footed", Judy had little choice but be lenient.

From the slow nod he gave and even slower reach for the ticket, she went along with it.

When she backed away for him to drive off slowly, she was a bit less enthusiastic as she should have been as he went from nearly six times the speed limit to a third of it.

Her cackling partner next to her as she watched, she let loose a frustrated groan.  _At least he's in the legal limit, I guess._

It'd take the rest of the night for him to reach the end of the street, but he and the citizens would be safe, so Judy took that as a job well done any day.

Pocketing her pen and shaking her head, she didn't let it show that she was over the moon  _thrilled_  to have a partner - well, the partner that she wanted - after all the time she worked at the ZPD, antics and all.

Wolford was okay, but a bit too quiet and calculated. Fangmeyer was a bit of a loose cannon. Francine nearly stepped on her twelve times an hour. McHorn wasn't much better. Grizolli, Johnson, and everyone else had their own little quirks. And then there was Wolfovitz. Vitz... he was his own category of pup: cheerful, enthusiastic, and a complete goof that howled more often than most.

"I gotta tell you, fluff," She turned her focus from the mammal that she could catch with nothing more than a power walk to her partner wiping a tear away from his eye. "Nothin' beats another hard day at work."

"Nick... it's only day  _one_  for you," she reminded him, paws on her hips as she mentally readied herself for his sass. "And all you did today was graduate and snark at our boss."

While true, and he couldn't be more proud, he had a reputation to keep and partner to pester. "Hey, the fuz's first fox has earned the right to snark at his boss at any time, Carrots," he tutted. "And besides, do you know how many ice walls I had to climb?"

It was eight a day... not that she was counting, had his progress reports, and occasionally spied on him during his training. Nope, not at all.

That all aside, his remark didn't stop her from currently raising a brow and pointing to his belt. "You know your radio's on, right?"

Wide-eyed, Nick froze and looked down. If his radio was on, then Clawhauser could hear what he said. And if Clawhauser heard it, then Bogo heard it. And if Bogo heard it? Well, he knew how difficult it was to get the job in the first place, Mammal Inclusion Initiative or not.

But when he had removed the radio and seen that it was currently on standby mode, his face soured. Ever so slowly - at a sloth's pace, perhaps - he turned to see his partner almost doubled over laughing.

"Oh har har, bunny," the fox drawled, tilting his head toward the sky as he had to keep his dignity. "At least I didn't get parking duty on my first day."

As he padded off towards the car, he managed to flick his tail in her direction, brushing it against her paw as he walked by.

A shiver went down her spine that left her frozen for a moment.  _Sweet CHEESE, what was that?_ she asked herself, slowly padding her way back to the driver's seat. Having to pause to shake off the feeling and hop in, she was greeted by the smiling, coffee sipping vulpine.

Softly chuckling, she started the car, the engine roaring to life as she thought of how eagerly she waited for this day, and how quickly it had come.

The months of training, long distance calls, surprise visits over his stay at the academy. To say she had been proud was an understatement, especially from his academy scores and how well he did with everything. And today of all days was the day that they'd work through retirement - she said, he agreed, they were partners after all.

_Partners_ , she mentally repeated, excitedly. They were finally there, finally at that goal that she wanted for a long time. Now, as they were partners, Judy hoped that this would bring them even closer.

There was a lot she still didn't know about him. Where he lived, if he had any family, any other friends. Over the past year, he shared a lot with her, though not every little detail. He was known enough to not be a close friend, but also known so little as to be mysterious.

And from the way his brow was raised to her sneaky stare, she knew that she was in trouble. Hastily, she used the turning signal and eased her way into the flow of traffic. Another second, and she would have had a witty fox to play "I spy" with.

Said witty fox, however, caught notice of her staring in his direction. She'd done that from time to time and he found that it usually went along with something she had to say or a thought she carried unaware. Anything from his advice on places around the city, to music tastes.

And to get the answer, it was a simple matter of prying the right way. Luckily, there was something that he had recently chatted with her about. So with a smirk, he leaned back and clicked his claws against his coffee cup.

"Soooo, what was that big announcement you wanted to make?" he began, making a show of his thought process by scratching his chin in deep contemplation. "Something about a 'groundbreaking date' or whatnot?"

The second he asked that, her ears perked up and he felt the car stutter from her excitable foot tapping. A good sign that he was onto something big, but he didn't know what. As she glanced over to him with a nervous, bucktoothed smile, he pressed a little further.

"Come on, Carrots, there's nothing you can't tell me." And it was true. They shared a lot from advice to crazy neighbours. Not everything, but certainly a lot. It was a comfortable bridge to cross when the time was right.

Drumming her paws on the steering wheel and waiting for the light to change green, the doe sighed.  _Now's a good a time as ever._

She took a deep breath. "Well, you know that old place down at the wharves? Where I found you for that case?"

It was Nick's turn to shift in his seat.

_Where I live? D-did she find out that I live there?_  he nearly choked from the thought.

All throughout the time they'd been together he never once told her his true residence. Even when she called him and asked if he was home, he just kept putting off the little fact that the address listed was where he grew up.

The bunny was persistent.

He, however, would keep his cool. When he saw her facial features, he noticed that it wasn't the look of pity or chastisement, but one rather nervous.

It left him to think,  _Is she blaming herself again?_

He recalled that, at times, Judy did bring it up and how she was sorry that everything transpired between them. The time she spoke of was both a miracle moment and a bit uncomfortable.

That was way back when their relationship was at its most vulnerable point. When she came to not only apologize to him, but also when he forgave her. It was the most intense moment of his life, especially from the time leading up to it.

Even during his pre-training, she went out of her way to settle things with the predator population. He assured her that all was well, but she insisted that she make the world a better place.

But as he mulled over this, he just nodded. Giving her a moment to say all that was on her mind was more important. He could assure her (as her partner) that things would be okay now.

"The place with the bridge? Yeah, I know it." he said cooly, sipping more of his now lukewarm coffee.

After a beat of silence followed by the steady hum of the engine as they made their way through traffic, Judy smiled a little more.

"We had been looking for a plot in the city to help run some stuff from our farm for hydroponics and shipping," she stated, a bit of a excitement in her tone. "So my family bought the place. That factory and warehouse."

She had thought that Nick would cheer her on or make some kind of added joke, but the moment those words left her muzzle, he went into a coughing fit.

Clutching his chest and almost doubling over from the taste of blueberry mint caffeine on his tongue, he breathed deeply. He tried to compose himself, taking another sip of the drink while giving her a quick series of nods

"Oh?"

Once she was sure,  _absolutely_  sure that she wouldn't have to pull over, she hiked a thumb at herself and winked. "Yep! You're looking at the Hopps family real estate negotiator."

"That's... great!"  _Terriffic, even,_  he mentally shouted at himself,  _Now I have to find a new place.._.  _But when are-_  "How long until ye 'ol bunnyfolk show to claim this as Buntopia?"

"It's just a few of us, Nick." Judy giggled, fully aware that she had, in fact, shared how large her family was. His face was priceless then. "And they're coming to finalize the deal and remodel next week."

Not what he was expecting and all too soon. He shrugged it off, he had a job and he didn't want to raise suspicion. "Well, we should celebrate your victorious carrot crusade."

The bunny laughed at that. "Helping to pitch in left me a little... in the red," drawling, she gestured with one paw how her financial situation was going. Still, Nick's idea wasn't too bad. "How about a movie night at my place? Pizza and popcorn?"

That was about all she could currently afford.

Having been over before for the same thing, he couldn't stop the slight wag in his tail. Although, he did raise a brow, fully anticipating what they'd be watching. "Bad movies to celebrate the groundbreaking date? Hopefully not  _that_  one again."

With a bit of a playful scowl, she tutted. "Nicholas Wilde. Don't you  _dare_ call Phantom of the L'opera a bad movie."

Feigning a bow from the bunny's stare, he put on a regal visage. "Shall I bring my top-hat to the theater, M'lady?"

Forcing herself not to laugh at his theatrics in the middle of traffic, she shook her head. Everything was great.

She had expected to do parking duty to get him acclimated to the job, but to be on patrol? Bogo wasn't completely heartless after all. Not only that, but with the few hours that they worked together, and their new cruiser - because they needed one heavily modified for their size and her insane bunny driving skills that wrecked a train that their boss forgave them for - it was the  _perfect_  start of their partnership, nothing could go wron-

"Hopps, WILDE! My office, NOW!"

The crackle of their radio suddenly bursting to life with the voice of their boss nearly made them both jump. Well, Nick did, a little. Judy almost slammed on the breaks.

Opting to slowdown, the doe took a moment to eye her partner. He looked just as surprised as she was.

_That was... odd?_  she thought.

Bogo only had two voices: loud and earthshaking. But even with that, he didn't usually start off by calling his officers straight into his office while they were on patrol.

Nick noticed his name was yelled louder. He shuddered but kept his cool. "I prefer WildeHopps."

Catching onto his nervousness and the defensive quip, Judy rebutted. "I have more experience."

Glad to have her to converse with, he folded his arms and sneered. "Hey, I'm older, Carrots."

The bunny smiled back, making her way through a break in traffic. "Then we both have seniority."

Not even looking in his direction, her ears swiveled to catch a faint gasp from him. The doe hummed, her smile unfailing. "How old are you again?"

Her 'not a decade older' partner folded his arms. "Old enough to still have one tail, fluff."

* * *

Judy always enjoyed walking into the main atrium of the ZPD. It gave her a rush of excitement as it was always her dream to be here. So now, with Nick in tow (for the second time that day) it was made even better.

Though...

"Any idea what the chief wanted, Carrots?" Nick broke the silence, sweeping his tail across the floor while fiddling with his badge. He tried to keep a level head as he always did, but being called to the office on day one wasn't a good sign.

To his dismay, bunny shook her head.

Truth was, she was as uneasy as Nick about how the chief called them in. He was  _never_  that short with anyone. Not when a perp got away, not when cars and trains exploded, and certainly not when the whole Nighthowler case was going on.

She was scolded, sure, but not shouted at over the radio.

And now that the two of them were here in the halls of Zootopia's finest, she noticed that something was off.

No, it wasn't the fact that the fake plants had leaves missing again, or that the hands on the clock were set to the wrong time as for some kind of prank.

It was that everyone was  _gone_.

No matter where she looked, there wasn't an officer in sight. There was usually a steady flow of officers meandering about, doing this and that. Suspects being brought in, doughnuts being passed about, and a bubbly cheetah to greet anyone that dare draw too close.

Now, however, the entire place was devoid of any activity.

Cautiously, she took a few hesitant steps forward, waving Nick to follow. If there was one thing that she knew, it was that if it looked like trouble, then it likely was trouble.

Her partner behind her, she let her mind wander.  _Did something happen?_  she thought.  _Is the ZPD under fire?_

At the first sign of motion coming from the front desk, she readied her tranquilizer. Thankful for her backup buddy beside her doing the same, the bunny's heart raced.

Ever so carefully, she stepped up. "Show yourself!" she shouted, training her weapon on a pair of auburn ears that poked over top of the dispatch desk.

The ears slowly rose to reveal a spotted, yellow-furred cheetah.

It was Clawhauser. How the portly cheetah could possibly find space to hide behind his desk was a bit unnerving. His ears were folded back and he was missing the trademark doughnut under his neck.

He gave them an awkward, nervous smile as they both sighed and lowered their weapons.

"Heeyyy... Judy~" he greeted, shakily tracing his gaze from her to the fox, cringing. "and... uh... oh boy..."

Nick shook his head. He may have been new to the force, but he'd get credit for having a name, at least. "It's Nick," he informed, only half serious. "Y'know, first fox, made headline news, half of the best partnership in the city."

A performer at heart, he leaned over, gesturing to the perturbed rabbit.

Ignoring his theatrics, Judy questioned the cat. "What happened? Where's everybody?"

Clawhauser's usual bubbly tone was all but gone. He sounded like he did whenever he was terrified to run track. "They all ran when the chief got a little upset."

"Upset?" the bunny repeated.

He nodded. "You, uh..." To say the cat was terrified was an understatement. He visibly sank, slowly lifting his paw to point a few floors up where the chief's office was. "May want to -"

Following this, she looked up, horrified at what she saw: the railing a few levels up was bent. Squinting, she stopped, realizing that it was practically hanging on by a thread with glass having fallen and shattered over several storeys.

She cringed,  _Pumpernickel bread, that's a little upset?_

Not wanting to find out, she started walking that way, waving for the fox that was already at her side. Already opting to take the stairs as the elevator wasn't an easy option when you're about a third of the height of the buttons, she veered their path that way, feeling a chill run down her spine as if they were being watched.

Turning around slightly, Judy was surprised, they  _were_  being watched, and by their missing/hidden co-workers at that.

One by one, other officers started appearing out of the woodworks. Some of them quite literally. Fangmeyer, for one, started shimmying down one of the various columns that supported the second floor while Wolford poked his head out of a potted plant nearby.

Grizzoli shuffled out from behind a CoalaCola vending machine with Johnson trying to get his claws unstuck from the underhang of the ceiling.

Francine was there, too. She moved the ficus away from her trunk.

If that wasn't already the oddest thing, the stares are what got to her. Something really big happened from the time of the morning's briefing that got the chief upset. What it was, for the life of her, she couldn't tell.

Their fellow servicemammals continued to watch as they turned up the stairs. Judy felt a heaviness in her feet.

_The other officers hiding, Clawhauser terrified, what's going on? Is this something that Nick did?_

Taking a chance, she glanced over to him. He was relatively calm, but his posture - as she knew his mannerisms - was a bit revealing that he himself was uncomfortable with the whole thing. It didn't say he did anything wrong and he certainly didn't have the time to pull off any office pranks yet.

She had a few ideas on good ones.

By the time they reached his floor, there was only dread. They were both shocked to see broken glass as a welcome mat just outside his office.

Glancing at one another and taking tepid steps - all while mindful of the tiny caltrops - they reached the threshold and were again astonished at the situation.

There sat their chief in his chair, reading glasses on, sipping a mug of coffee from one hoof while his other held a single manilla folder; his office in shambles.

Half of his desk was embedded in the wall next to the (used to be, but now obliterated) shelves of information and law books. The various maps of the city and slogans were shredded. Plants knocked over, papers littering the floor, and the other half of his desk was crumbling just in front of him.

How calm he looked completely betrayed the atmosphere. And with his glasses on, it meant one thing: this was disciplinary action.

Even if there was a raging fire - like the one she accidentally started in the breakroom that involved the microwave, a packed lunch, forgotten (metal) cutlery from home, and a sleepy Wolford trying to reheat his coffee and muffin alongside her food - if the chief's glasses were on, he would do nothing but watch and read his mystery novel, brushing aside whatever embers from that explosion caught the page he was currently on.

She lost breakroom privileges for a month and it had only been a week since the incident.

Trembling, Judy spoke. "You wanted to see us, Chief?"

It was then that the buffalo looked up. Judy couldn't find her breath.

"Ah yes, Officer Hopps," he greeted, calmly sitting his mug on the remains of his broken desk. The two watched in silence as the cup slid and crashed to the floor from the awkward slope it rested on; the buffalo taking no notice of it. "Come in, and have a seat."

The only chair  _still standing_  was his. The other? Well, only its legs could be seen in the ceiling.

They walked in, shuddering from the tension. Nick tried his best to ease some of it. "Are you doing a remodel?" the fox jested. "Cause if you are, I know the perfect interior deco-"

YOUR MOUTH!"

However, from the buffalo's booming voice and subsequent shattering sound from the last window pane left in the room, the fox failed.

The ungulate took a moment to sit back, eyeing them for a long while. "Do you know why I called you in?"

Both of the smaller mammals shook their heads. They didn't have a clue as to what this whole thing was about. But Nick was about to ask.

"SHUT IT!"

And his chance was gone.

The chief stood, the floor shook, his shadow loomed over them. "I should have known you'd be more trouble than you were worth,  _fox_."

And accusatory finger was pointed squarely at Nick. It was like all the work he had done was null and void.

Judy, seeing this in action, stepped inbetween the two. Her eyes were fiery and she pointed a finger back. "That's  _Officer_  Wilde,  _Chief_."

Though he was thankful for the bunny, the buffalo's anger seemed to either break or boil over.

"Oh really?" he chided, leaning over, "Then can you explain how this, of  _all things,_ MADE IT TO MY DESK!"

He handed the envelope over to Judy, her eyes still full of fury as she swiped it out of his hooves and opened it. Whatever was causing all the fuss was right in the does paws.

The first thing that she noticed about the document was that it was a federal tax form,  _Nick's_  federal tax form at that. Of why she was given this was a mystery to her.

But... after a few seconds, something caught her attention.

"Wait... what's-"

Then she read it,  _actually_  read it. Her shoulders slumped and her mouth slowly hung agape. For just in the line with the name alone - among other things - was something she wasn't expecting, nor would have ever expected to see on a federal form.

Name: Nicknack Furniture Décor.

Paws trembling, breath ragged, head throbbing and eyes blurry, the bunny slowly, ever so, so slowly craned her neck towards the ghost of a fox who was currently playing keep-away with his eyes.

"I can explain," he squeaked, tone high pitched and posture completely guilty.

Judy couldn't find the words behind her anger.

He didn't  _dare_  look into the fury of her amethyst eyes. "I-i, uh..." he stuttered, staring at the adjacent wall where Bogo decorated the bookshelf with a few well aimed punches through it. "It's pronounced Fur'Niture?"

Judy  _couldn't_ respond.

Bogo, however, could. His voice was commanding, albeit tired. "Effective immediately there is no  _Officer_  Wilde. Also, there is no  _Nicholas Wilde._ "

The bunny's ears hung low.  _No... partner?_  
  
Time seemed to freeze as she heard those words, even after the buffalo kept gesticulating and shouting things at them.

"As this is a  _federal case-_ "

Without Nick as her partner, who would she protect the city with?

"-take him down to holding for-"

What was she going to do now? What did this mean for him? For  _them?_

"-an agent will come and pick him up-"

She couldn't hear her boss' words through the pounding in her chest.

"Do you understand, Hopps?" The buffalo asked, holding the former first fox's badge in his hooves.

She stared at her ex-partner, eye twitching as she clutched the paperwork in her paws.

The vulpine didn't know what to say, aside from his endearing name for her. "Carrots?"

Nick could barely register as the bunny grasped his tie, nearly choking him as she escorted him out of the room.

**Author's Note:**

> [A/N]
> 
> Huge thank you to Koraru-san, the artist behind the cover art. Check her out on Deviant Art!
> 
> This is the first part (1/12) of Objectively Yours! One of 5 stories that I have planned for the month and the one most voted for in the polls!
> 
> What will happen to Nick? What else is on his tax documents? Who will save him?! The answer's obvious... It's- Well, see next chapter. XD
> 
> [Other Sites]
> 
> fanfiction:  
> ([https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3825612/dancinglunarwolves/](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3825612/dancinglunarwolves/))
> 
> deviantart: [snippet exclusive]  
> ([https://dancinglunarwolves.deviantart.com/](http://dancinglunarwolves.deviantart.com/))
> 
> archiveofourown:  
> ([https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingLunarWolves/](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingLunarWolves/))
> 
> If you liked this story and have time please post a review, and if you would like to keep up with the story please fav or follow. Questions, comments, concerns, feel free to message me about anything. If you'd like updates, please check the profile page and or message me.
> 
> Till Next Time  
> -DLW


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